Every morning when my bro is out for work and mom is in our farm, my Nana and I would almost always be the ones left eating breakfast.
And more often than not, she would be talking about the olden days - that she got into the business of selling jewelries, pork, rice, and even gun just so she could get the money to spend for the schooling of her 8 children; that her Grandfather was a rich spanish mestizo who spoiled them with food; that at 4, she witnessed the world war II when japanese soldiers reaped terror here in the Philippines, that my grandfather left his fiance to be with my nana who is 13years younger than him. There were times, that she would open a conversation saying that she wanted to tell me something. And I know that whenever she would say that, I know it wouldn't be good story. I would feel tense as she would tell me about the time that my aunt said something bad to her; or that my cousin, aunt and uncle stopped checking on her; that she doesn't have money; that they wouldn't send her money; that she is often experiencing stomach discomfort; that my mother doesn't help her with money. I would almost always feel upset about it just as she was. Even though I've heard her say the same stories plenty of times, the effect on me didn't wane down. In fact, it frustrates me more and more because no matter how I try to help her be positive, she would still remain the same- Bitter.
I hate to hear her say that because I know that her pension is able to supply well for her. Me, my mom or my aunt would sometimes provide for her whenever she ran out of it. She doesn't have problems with food since she's well provided here at home. I guess when you get older, you easily feel vulnerable. And you easily remember the bad ones. Well that's true, at least for my Nana.
So this morning, we had this depressing conversation again. I was worried about her. I don't want her to feel sad because for me there wasn't really a reason to be so. So I told her the same lines again: be positive, stop focusing on the bad ones, think of the good stories, be happy that she's blessed. But after giving that long advice, I felt bad. I then remembered the video I watched last night, and reminded that for every demand there was a deeper need that wasn't provided. I felt guilty because I realized that maybe she just needs someone to talk to or someone to take care of her. And because we're too caught up with our own lives we tend to ignore her.
I think today should be the right time to change things.
Besides, it's never too late. Like they say, when there's life, there's always hope. That I believe, and I feel extremely blessed to have that chance to let my Nana feel loved again.
And more often than not, she would be talking about the olden days - that she got into the business of selling jewelries, pork, rice, and even gun just so she could get the money to spend for the schooling of her 8 children; that her Grandfather was a rich spanish mestizo who spoiled them with food; that at 4, she witnessed the world war II when japanese soldiers reaped terror here in the Philippines, that my grandfather left his fiance to be with my nana who is 13years younger than him. There were times, that she would open a conversation saying that she wanted to tell me something. And I know that whenever she would say that, I know it wouldn't be good story. I would feel tense as she would tell me about the time that my aunt said something bad to her; or that my cousin, aunt and uncle stopped checking on her; that she doesn't have money; that they wouldn't send her money; that she is often experiencing stomach discomfort; that my mother doesn't help her with money. I would almost always feel upset about it just as she was. Even though I've heard her say the same stories plenty of times, the effect on me didn't wane down. In fact, it frustrates me more and more because no matter how I try to help her be positive, she would still remain the same- Bitter.
I hate to hear her say that because I know that her pension is able to supply well for her. Me, my mom or my aunt would sometimes provide for her whenever she ran out of it. She doesn't have problems with food since she's well provided here at home. I guess when you get older, you easily feel vulnerable. And you easily remember the bad ones. Well that's true, at least for my Nana.
So this morning, we had this depressing conversation again. I was worried about her. I don't want her to feel sad because for me there wasn't really a reason to be so. So I told her the same lines again: be positive, stop focusing on the bad ones, think of the good stories, be happy that she's blessed. But after giving that long advice, I felt bad. I then remembered the video I watched last night, and reminded that for every demand there was a deeper need that wasn't provided. I felt guilty because I realized that maybe she just needs someone to talk to or someone to take care of her. And because we're too caught up with our own lives we tend to ignore her.
I think today should be the right time to change things.
Besides, it's never too late. Like they say, when there's life, there's always hope. That I believe, and I feel extremely blessed to have that chance to let my Nana feel loved again.
2 comments:
I think most lolos and lolas go to that phase. Those that I talked to would tell me that they are bitter because they feel like their kids don't care about them anymore (then they begin talking about how they took care of their kids, it's a cycle indeed!). When my grandparents were around, we gave them gifts, even if small, and we listened to their stories even if we've come to know them by heart because they've been telling it over and over. Anything that would make them feel they're still needed gets them out of that ampalaya mode. :)
@DiRosapapan: yes, that's so true. So they just probably need our open ears and hearts to make them feel better. Oh well, that's a normal phase I guess, which I'm sure I'm not looking forward to undergoing. haha
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