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I am no love guru.
I haven't been deeply, romantically in love before. In fact, you would probably have more experience in love than I do. But I've had my fair share of love stories turned drama/tragic anthologies, that I felt I've come full circle in this arena. This makes me want to just share to you what I know in moving on in the hopes to bring healing to those whose hearts are still bleeding.
And this, my friend, is what I know.
1. Listening to Adele won't make you feel any better. Sure she spills out what your heart and guts want to spill out. You cry, because you think that crying would unload you of the burden you feel inside, until to the point that you can't cry anymore. Let me break it to you, at the point that you can't cry anymore is when you're dehydrated and all shriveled up. Unless you stop drinking water and have yourself sunbathe for 10 hours a day whilst crying can you only expect to have no tears flowing. When you hit that play button, you will still cry because you're hurt, and tears will still flow because you happened to be majorly composed of water. Adele has already moved on, and I bet a dollar that she wants you to move on too. So don't rape the replay button and move on to a jollier playlist... seriously.
2. Acceptance takes time. Don't force yourself to feel ok. It will take time to accept that you will not take a role in delivering justice to all the injustice that you felt was done to you. Unless of course you want to, but that would be wrong, right? Just accept that unacceptable things were committed, and take delight in the fact that it's over and it's done with. You don't have to deal with the one who did it. Let karma take it's course. Just believe in it. The more you do, the stronger, faster, and more lethal it will be. Kidding. Just be thankful on what you've learned, and stay focus on the future is really the key to it.
3. The power is in your hands. I've once had a chat with my friend and asked her how she was able to move on quickly. She said she just decided on it, and that was pretty much it. And I was taken aback how it was so easy for her. It sounded like she was just delivering a letter in the mail, while for me, it felt like I was strangling some hippopotamus or a devil Goliath, or both at the same time. Clearly I wasn't still able to accept things, and it's ok. Take your time.
4. Say it like it is. Don't dramaticized it because drama kills you. I'll give you example.
Fact: Things didn't work out. He didn't deliver and wasn't able to treat me right, and I wasn't mature enough to understand so we had to stop it.
Dramaticized: I gave up everything for him but he still made me feel like I was nothing but a rag, a worthless piece of crap and he broke my trust when I thought he wouldn't. Of all the people, he would be the least person to do that to me, but he did... he did... buhuhu (this is the part where Adele's song "Someone Like You" is playing in your head and you are tempted to go to your cupboard and gulp in several of your grandmother's antibiotics and anti hypertensive drugs).
5. Shift your focus to the future. After a break up you'll end up with a clean slate which is exciting if you'll come to realize it. You are free now. Free to take in the world and shift it whichever way you want. No more partner to consider. The wheel is yours... Now give Adele a break and switch in to Diana Ross' 'I'm Coming out.'
So go out girlfriend.
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