Traveling solo doesn't really grow old on me. Every journey is different. But despite this, I noticed that every time I go out the door, I always have that flight or fight response wrestling within me , and more so when I am already out and about, enticing myself that I could still change my mind and I could easily turn the other way. But God knows how many times I have thanked myself every time I decided to just go ahead and push through.
1. Show up. When I know that I'll be travelling alone, I sometimes would dread that my trip might be dangerous, and boring. But I go anyway because the desire of exploration and adventure is greater than my fears. I remember the owner of Spanx, Sara Blakely once said that she did not let her fears get in the way of her dreams, and I always go back to that especially in my moments of indecision. Travelling solo hasn't always been fun. Sometimes I'd even regret why I even attempted, but regardless of the outcome, I was always glad that I showed up because then, I have juicy stories to tell and I have broken the monotony of my life, which are everything to me.
2. Trust the journey. Anxiety is ever present especially when travelling to unknown and uncharted places. Even when I've researched hard and wide, and I know exactly which jeep or bus to take, uncertainty wouldn't leave me because I don't want to go pass the place that I should've gone down to. I keep my eyes wide open reading billboard ads, carenderia signs for the address just to make sure I know which town I am in. My eyes bulging like a deer in the headlights, afraid on missing out on that sign, moving my head in all possible directions. Imagine me doing these all throughout the trip. So now I try to learn how to relax. Read the signs, enjoy the scenery and if there's the houses or stores, I go peep again.
3. Learn how to Ask. There were countless of times that I felt stressed because I was too prideful and shy to ask for direction and had to rely on my scouring eyes instead. I would have saved myself the time and the stress had I asked someone about the place or where to go down. Conductors could be a treasure, and when I'm lucky fellow passenger, could guide me as well.
4. Trust People who Seem Trustworthy. My experiences on solo traveling gave me a discernment as to whom to ask for directions. People I approached are usually policemen, guards, traffic enforcers, tricycle drivers, jeepney drivers, bus drivers, conductors, women with children, women, vendors. It's the same in life. I trust people whom I feel are deserving of my trust.
5. But be Cautious. As someone who travels alone, it's imperative that I take extra measures to be safe. I don't go out when it's evening, and if I do it's usually in a very safe city. I double check in locking my room; I choose the people I go out with. I learned how to make calculated risks, and make sure I could handle what I am getting into.
6. Connect with People. In all my travels, I'd have to say that my connections and interactions with people surpassed the experience of exploring the place. When I look back, it's the friends I met along the way, and the stories I got out of them are the ones that I have treasured more. There's something sacred about getting stories from strangers. I would always feel humbled and honored to be in their personal space. It's a higher level of acceptance, making me feel validated of my presence and confident of my being, and that meant the world to me.
7. Trusting Myself. There were countless of times that I thought that I wouldn't be able to do what I have done. Sure I was afraid, but with tickets booked and with an already set mind, there was really no option but to prepare enough prior the trip, and to make the most of it during the trip. I got lost but I figured it out soon. Instincts got me there; my senses showed me the way. And sometimes I wouldn't get to know whether to turn left or right when I was a kilometer away from my destination, but somehow knew what to do when I am a few meters away. So I learned to be patient and to be attentive of the signs along the way.
8. Enjoy the Moment. What exactly does that mean? It means to be in touch with me and the surroundings. I noticed that fear takes me out of myself. Anxiety makes me want to jump off my own body. My thoughts take me out of my awareness of self, thus I was never present. Now I have come to realize that I am in the moment, when I start appreciating the details. and when I walk a bit slower, not too eager to go to the next place, but to treat each step as a destination in itself.
9. Creating my Own Reality. Travelling alone made me feel self assured. After having welcomed by a different culture, accepted and trusted by strangers, treated well and made to feel acknowledged, traveling by myself made me like me more. And it's sad that I sometimes need others to see me as special before finding what's special in me. Slowly I have learned how to look into me first, see what's unique and appreciate myself for what I have and I have discovered that I, right here right now, am enough.
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