Suddenly It's Magic.

It was the night when my ex was probably in flight to UK for his masteral education and be with his new found gf.   I, however, was on a soul-searching trip in Bangkok.  Tired after a long day of bathing with the elephants, my friend Ivy and I tried to amuse ourselves with the night life in Bangkok. Hmmm, the night when life's energy is more prominent.  The lights, the sounds, the noise.  It's infectious.  It gets you to do something bad. No wonder a lot of crimes happen at night.
We were along Khao San road.  The most touristy place in town, where the booze, farangs, sales, food, are at.  It was the perfect place to be.  After getting our henna done, we got me some fried insects, swallowing it hesitantly as we talked over a glass of Thai beer.  It was the first time in the day that I was in touch with my real emotions again.  I was having too much fun to think about it.  And now that we were settled, did I start to feel unsettled.  What a terrible way to cap the night, I thought to myself, while I was downing the beer.  I felt drunk already.

I remembered my date, I should call my him so I wouldn't be ending this day so bad.

I got into a 7/11 store.  Loaded up and dialed an 8 digit number.

"Hi, how are you it's me shy. I'm actually at Khao san road right now with my friend and I was wondering if you would like to meet me a bit later?"

"Oh hi, yeah sure. Uhmm are you drunk?"  The man on the end of the line said.

I gushed.  Do I sound drunk? "Well no of course not!" I lied.  "We'll reach the hostel in about 20minutes, maybe I could meet you at Terminal 21, yeah?"

"Aright, see you then." He replied.

Finally! Some adrenalin booster right there. This should be interesting.

In less then 30 minutes, I've already readied myself.  Showered, and wore the dress I just bought while at Khao san road.  It was weird that I didn't feel nervous.  After years of not getting into the dating scene, this should probably set myself on my toes on a normal day.  But not that night.  That night, I was feeling confident.  Thanks to the booze.  I was just really eager to talk to someone.

I called him. "Hi I'm here already."

"Ok I'll be there in 5minutes." I receive a call from him after 5. "Are you sure it's Soi 19? I'm already here, but I can't see you around."

Sounding unsure. "Uhmm yeah, I guess so, well I really don't know, but I'm here at Terminal 21 now near Asok Station." 

Terminal 21

Feeling surprised, he explained that he may have been to another street and told me to wait there for another 5 minutes.  And so I did.

It was a rainy night.  I was trying to hold my umbrella up while I saw a tuk tuk stopped in front of me, and a guy peeping up to see me.  It's him.  I smiled.

He was this cute, nice looking man in his early 30's, 5'9 and all.  And I thought, hmm ok.  It was when he smiled when that ok turned to oh my. Hahaha

We had a nice chit chat as we headed over to an Italian cafe a few meters away.  He ordered a small pizza and 2 cups of coffee. From then on he was spitting information about himself.  While he busy unshedding his personal life before me, I was thinking how a person could just pour everything out in one sitting.  He was broker with a close family ties.  And base from the information he was giving me, I was getting that he's intelligent, from a top university in Bangkok, popular amongst girls, has good looking friends, even showed me his BB to see work-related msgs in his phone and even pictures of some of his family, friends and ex gf too.  There were a lot of information to process.  But so far it was interesting.  My thoughts came to a halt when he said, "tell me about you."

I felt a bit of a lump in my throat. I didn't know where to start.  It was as if I was in a job interview or something that I had to talk about myself and highlight those things that are special about me.  At first it was a bit awkward, because I have to at least say that I too have something to boast, but I was a bit cautious to not sound cocky.  I was able to get through to it quite well.

Things got smoothly as we were exchanging stories about our Biology classes.  We happened to have experienced pithing frogs and catching insects back in college.  So at that moment at least we found a common ground.

At one point in our conversations, he said that he found me charming, and even brushed my bangs gently on the side as it was blocking my eyes.  I guess.  But for whatever reason, I blushed.

He was rocking on his seat, that he almost lost his balance.  My reflex was a bit fast that time, that I tried supporting his back.  For a split second, he regained his position.  The Iranian or maybe a Turkish man who saw everything, teased him.

"You're lucky, she saved your life." Winking at him as he left the cafe. Of course, I knew I didn't save him.  But it felt good, nevertheless.

It was getting late, and the cafe needed to close.  We had to transfer somewhere else.  It was already 12midnight, and it was still raining outside in the city of Bangkok.

Next question comes to mind, "where to."

Both of us still wanted to talk.  And so we sat in front of a closed shop along the street, just at the corner of the hostel where I was staying.

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It was odd to see him just sitting in some not-really-attractive place where 2 cockroaches could be seen crawling on the side.  Him who I saw as the former university heart throb, high level, socialite kind of guy.  He was just there, as a simple man, sitting beside me.

It was there that he told me about his ex girl friend and how they both ended their love story.  That in just 2 days after break up, he was replaced with another guy a year younger than him.   She was his love for 5 years.  A 39 year old, businesswoman, 9 years his senior.  She had her own place, a car, a really young face.  What's missing was a husband.  He told me he couldn't marry her yet because he didn't have the money to do so.  I felt that he had to prove something for himself.  She couldn't wait and had to cut off the relationship.  That was the time I pat his back and said. "I think you're broken."  He just smiled, like he used to but his eyes were looking afar.  It was my turn to share my story.  Mine was not too happy too.  He told me that my ex maybe didn't love me.  The moment he said that, I felt my heart burn and looked away, like he did.  This time I was silent for a number of seconds. I was in the verge of tears, but I was trying my best to stop the tears.  He broke my drama by saying, "You sound sooo low. I'm here."  He wrapped his arms around me and began rocking me like a baby.  And I felt a lot of emotions then - sad, angry, awkward, shy, happy.  But undeniably, immediately after that I felt better.  Better than I've ever felt before after a lot of months.  And I would like to believe that he felt the same too.

I think the universe has a funny way of uniting 2 broken souls.  Finding their way into each other's comforting arms.  We both understood exactly what the other was feeling.  And at that moment, at the point of acknowledgement of pain and reality.  We found each other as a witness, and a confidant.  And it sank into me that it was ok.  That even someone whom I just met, and  is close to my ideal guy could love me.  That I am lovable again.  When that reality sank in my heart, I felt total healing.

That moment was beautiful.  More than I could ever wished for. 

PS: My apologies for the quality of the pics(particularly the first and 3rd), I took them the night I left for the Philippines.  I used the camera of my cellphone and I was on the move here.