Why I Still Want to Travel to do Soul Searching Even After I Swear I Wouldn't

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I have eaten my words, yet again. 

 Here's the beauty of it.  Life is full of contrasts. People like opposite things, and it just depends upon the time or situation in which thing prevails.   I'll give you a context of that last post.  I was set to do soul searching in Hongkong at the same time explore the place.  I think given that situation, I had set myself out to fail.  I didn't have time to think about myself thus no time for soul searching. 

Apart from that I have dipped my finger into some meditation practices in the hopes that I would finally grab hold of my emotions.  All though in retrospect it did help me get in touch with myself more, which was well and good.

There are just some times that being stuck in the same place just takes you back to your old beaten path, your old way of thinking and seeing things.  Moving to places and getting stimulated in all possible ways just gives you a different light, thus different road to self discovery.  

It takes a different shift to help you get out of the cage.  And maybe that's why traveling works for me.  It may not give me the answers that I'm hoping for but it would give me the energy and inspiration to work into my dreams and pursue it.

And I think that's not bad at all.  

Publisher: Shy - Monday, September 14, 2015

Why I Stopped Traveling to Do Soul-Searching.

Introspection.  Reflection: Pic Source 

"We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in.  When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes."

I couldn't count the times that I've attempted to find my purpose through travels and every
time I've come home to one, I would bring home the usual:  a few souvenirs, a number of really cool stories, and hundreds of pictures.  And also as usual, I come home with no clear conviction of the purpose.  The whole trip although it was fun, didn't really give me the answer which I was seeking for in the first place.  Why?

Why it Failed.

During my first solo trip in HK, I filled my itinerary with places to go, things to buy, activities to do, thinking that being in a different place would highlight my own difference, seeing myself freshly and genuinely in the light of other people.  I believed that me being genuine, comfortable in my own skin, and being different would help me understand myself more.  I would see clearly the unique in me as seen by others, believing also that by knowing myself more and being happy with it, my purpose would somehow arise.  All those were true though, except that "my purpose" didn't pop up as I hoped it would.  No light bulbs happened.

And by being in different place made stillness and introspection for long hours of time seem impractical.  I mean, there I was in Baguio or HK, places I have never been to.  Every time I steady myself and start to meditate, there's a nagging thought that yells at me saying that "there's just so much to explore in this place, what the hell are you doing?"  or the "you spent all money and time for that? might as well do that in your own room."  And dawning on the fact, I get anxious and go back to my places-to-go list.

So there, I learned it that way, but I must say that each experience is different.  My soul searching just happened to flop when traveling because really come to think of it the answer really lies within us.  We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in.  When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes.

Take Away 

I learned that our aspirations and dreams are shadows of the needs and wants that we want in life.  There are shallow needs, the ones that we really don't need but we have come to want for the ego.  And there are deeper needs of love, belonging, fulfillment which we get by pursuing that of which our spirit truly desires.  It's up for us to recognize where our dreams fall under, and to make sure that we always go for the ones that fall under the latter. 

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Shutting Up That Nagging Ugly Thought-Source

reshareit

"The more you listen and follow it, the more you're giving it power to take over your kingdom."

I've been trying to get in touch with my inner self recently, after realizing that in order for me to master myself, I need to first master my inner world.  And much to my defeat, I see myself faltering, eating one marshmallow to another.  Why marshmallow?

The Marshmallow Test

Well I've learned that the single most effective way in determining ones success is through the marshmallow test.  It's a test wherein kids are given a marshmallow only to be told not to eat it.  Basically it is a test of self discipline and self control. No matter what preparation, and introspection you do, it will all become useless, worthless, if you're not able to implement and follow through your plans and learning.

And now I see myself having to face marshmallows in the form of mango rolled cake in the freezer when I'm trying to loose 5 kilograms, or the bed during a spanish session, or that red number in facebook that notifies me to check the message when I'm trying to finish an article.  We see it all in various forms. And like a muscle, the more we resist it the more we make our discipline muscle stronger.

I realized that no matter how I tried to resist there's this nagging voice that gives me a list of reasons why I should just submit.  It rationalizes with me, it justifies until the argument becomes strong and I weak, then the inevitable happens and I submit.

There's the inner voice and there's You

What I also learned in studying spirituality is that the thought that we have is not us.  And that who we really are is that silence, that knowing, that space.  I understand it is abstract that's why it is difficult to comprehend.  It let's you separate that inner voice and you.   The inner voice who isn't so friendly most of the time.  It's your narcissistic fan that blows up your ego a hundred fold and at the same time, too often than not, your vile critic who shrinks it with a stabbing comment, which you would mistakenly believe as truth.

How your Mind-om would Look like

If we are to put faces in these characters in our mind and see how our mind-om would look like.  The inner voice would be that ugly, gollum-like jest who is the noisiest of them all.  There's your right-hand handsome duke who is a man of few words but wisdom and good-will always comes out of him.  And there's you on the throne, a mum ethereal beauty of a queen who just sees and observes and listens to all these happening.  In your royal status, why would you listen to that ugly jest?  He is nothing but one big joke after all.  A scum who does nothing but plant weeds in your garden, throws trash in your hall.  The more you listen and follow it, the more you're giving it power to take over your kingdom.  Understand that it has no power over you, and with this it is your responsibility to uphold beauty and peace in your kingdom, which is the way it should be.

With this way of looking it, I hope I get to shut the joke of a jest and focus on enriching my kingdom.  And maybe by that, we won't be accepting nonsense from people, because you would not accept nonsense in you. We may start setting high standard for ourselves.  Why accept anything less? We're all a queen afterall.

Publisher: Shy - Sunday, July 05, 2015

10 Great Things About Being Single

I have been single for a few years now and I remembered that for the most part, I was longing for a companion.  I was longing to be in a relationship again.  And whenever I am in a relationship, I've had thoughts that I was happier when I was single.  It seems now that I've never been satisfied of where I am. Longing for better, happier, bigger, richer robs me of the joy of the present.  So I've vowed to be happy and contented, irregardless of the relationship status or bank account.  Slowly, I've come to learn this.  Slowly, I've come to love the process.

Thinking of that now, I've come to realize that being single isn't really that bad after all.  I've come to embrace the joy that I remembered having before getting this in sticky situation called relationship.

1.  Freedom to go anywhere I want, anytime.  If you plan to go somewhere, you wouldn't need to ask permission to anyone (given that you're of age), other than my parents of course.  And when you're at it, you wouldn't have to feel in a hurry to go home because "you're missing someone".

2.  No Drama.  The only drama that would occur are when pimples start appearing on your nose, lost cellphones, problems at work, and gaining that 5 kilograms over Christmas.

3.  Low battery?  No problem.   No one's going to text you that much anyway apart from friends of course.  You wouldn't have to load all the time too.  The only time it goes  low bat is after 4 days of using and not using it.  That's it.

4.  More girl bonding.  What's more fun than being with your girls and spending more time with them doing anything from fabulous to the silliest of things.  Building this bond would not only support your sisterhood, it also makes your life a lot more colorful and exciting.

5.  Focus on Career.  This is the best time for you to fly high and pursue those dreams that have been staying too long on your bucket list.  Work in another city and learn the ropes of the job and of living in a new place.  While in it, get more friends, and network like crazy.

6.  You can network like crazy.  No one would ask you who this guy is and why have you added him on facebook.  With you being available, you can network to as many kinds of people as possible.  Choose the ones who would give more value to your life and the ones who would give you that much needed leverage that would take you a step closer to your dreams.

7.  Eat whatever you want and not feel guilty about it.  Of course, it's also true when you're in a relationship.  But with you being single, you wouldn't have to worry if someone had noticed that extra pounds you gained because you spent your entire weekend emotional eating.

8. Have time to Reinvent Self.  Although this is also possible when you are in a healthy relationship, it's just easier when you're single because there isn't any resistance from you or from a special someone.  When you're tied up with a guy, you would second guess if he likes it or not.  If you're single, you can go as extreme as you want.

9.  More time to do what you want alone.  If painting and reading is your passion.  You have plenty of time indulging in these creative and mind stimulating pursuits.  There wouldn't be an urge to check on your cellphone to see if your guy messaged you or not.

10. Date as many guys as you want.  Meet different guys from different backgrounds and see who suits you the best.

Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, January 27, 2015

20 Ways You Can Be The Best Friend Ever.

1.  Send freaky and naughty text messages.  They might need it.  They might be bored.  You'll just give them a dose of adrenalin to wake them up, either way you're doing them a whole lot of good.  Trust me I do it all the time.

2.  Tell your friend how beautiful they are everyday.  Mean it or you don't, truth be told that it's always fantastic to be a recipient of that compliment.  And hey, I'm sure they'll throw a compliment back at you too. 

3. Push them to do crazy things with you.  I've got tons of friends who are "conservative" and timid when it comes to having fun.  I accept them for being so, but seriously they do need that someone who would give them that extra push to just let loose and let go.  

Image Source: wifflegif

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Saved by an Unsung Hero

It was almost 8 in the morning, as I headed out of the hotel gate with the back beach being my destination in mind.  After few questions from the receptionists and the guard, I hopped on the motorcycle and took a ride towards Tambisaan beach.  

When I got there, I was pleased to see that there was no one around except for some maintenance staff raking off some woods, and roots, and anything that makes the beach look "dirty".   I immediately spread my mat and positioned myself near this surfboard with 20-something coconut fruits laying neatly on it.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Walk Along the Shore with Me.

 

I love mornings.  

The breeze is cool and fresh; people are friendlier,and happier; it's just a perfect environment to wake up to. So on the 2nd day, I figured to just walk around the beach and be in awe of the beauty of it.

I woke up to my alarm clock as it buzzed at 5:30am and started my journey.  A 10 minute-walk from hotel to shore, took me 15 minutes.  I just had to stop every now and then and take photos to solidify and immortalize what I saw so I can share them with you all.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Take it Off at Puka Beach!

On the first day, my sister invited me to go island hopping.  I wasn't too giddy because I felt that nothing will top El Nido and I would just end up unimpressed, which was actually what happened.  But then spending time with sis and her friend had made the trip at least worthwhile.

So as expected, there was the usual clear azure seas, white sand beaches, towering limestones, stuff that I've already seen.  The boat guide let us see the crocodile island, named one for its shape.

We did snorkeling for our first stop.  It was really difficult to take pictures underwater.  The current was strong enough for me to get drawn away if I would not hold on to a rope or to the boat's wings.   While wrapping my arms and holding on I sigh...  El Nido is better.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, May 07, 2014

An Introvert's Experience in Boracay

A text from my papa reads, "Nakapunta ka na ba ng boracay?", "Have you been to boracay?"  After replying "No", next thing I know was that I am going to Boracay with my sister and her friends.  I was elated but eventually got bombed out.  Was I asked to go there and baby sit my sister? If so, how am I going to enjoy bora? When questions like these come, it's best left ignored because, seriously, you'll never know what will happen unless you're already there.  So I saved myself from anxiety, and packed my bag light. 

From all my travels this is the only one I didn't plan.  With all the options accessible to you, and with boracay being small as it is, who needs planning?  You go, choose, pay, enjoy, done!  

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, May 07, 2014

How to live a Simpler and Happier life by Bo Sanchez

I have just finished reading Bo Sanchez' book on how to live a Richer life.  If you don't know him yet, he is a leading motivational speaker in the Philippines and has written a lot of best sellers, the one I read being one of them.

From my previous posts, it's obvious that I had been in a rut.  And so I'm trying to form a ritual to read uplifting books whenever I'm in that state, thus what happened this afternoon.

Before I forget all lessons that I've learned, I feel the need to share them all to you.

That's just how much I love you guys.

So here's the drill.

According to Bo, a life that's lived very simply is ideal.  Simple is defined as learning to live within your core being, and your core would have to consist of the things that really mean most to you examples are your family, health, God and what not.  Learning to concentrate on living within these essentials makes you prioritize easier.

I've also learned that living a simple life means having to make do of what you have, and not longing for things you really don't need.  It also makes you save more, which was really continuously pressed on several times in the book.  Set aside 70% of your money to everyday expenses, and the rest you invest.  He suggested 3 categories where you should invest your money to: 10% back to tithes, 10% you invest in paper documents(stock, mutual funds etc.), and 10% on your relationships with people in your inner circle.

All in all, I've read some of his books before, and I must say that many salient points were mentioned consistently which is live simply, plan and invest. 

I hope you find this post helpful. :)

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, February 20, 2014

What I do when I get Depressed?

1.  Go out with friends.  If you are no where near them, go online, chat them and ask for virtual hugs.  Believe me, it's better to none. 

2.  I head out in the social scene.  The noise outside will drown the not-so-friendly noise inside my sometimes fucked up mind.

3.  I get a sudden appetite for ice cream.  There's nothing a good peanut butter banana from Dairy Queen can't repair.  Problem now is when the ran out of this. 

4.  I exercise.  I do the 4minute workout.  It makes me feel like I've done myself tons of goodness, even if I just exercised for 4 minutes.

5.  Read a good book.  A feel good one.

So there are my rituals when I don't feel quite on track.  Actually what I really do is open facebook and browse through it, but I'm battling it and divert more on productive ones, one of which I missed out on adding on the list is writing.

Sorry everyone, just post valentine's blues kicking in.  Single lady rant.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, February 19, 2014

What to do when Depression Strikes

when air enters in lungs and seem to stay there longer
 when the heart seems sunken and seems to remain that way forever
  when frowns keep showing and seem to gravitate in that lowly corner
   when eyes stopped shining and seem to have stopped getting brighter
    when the body seems lump and seems to be getting paralyzed in every second and minute

It's times like these that the mind needs to work on to be more positive and the body needs to move itself to feel more alive, to be more alive.

And when it is so hard to take the mind off the pit, it's the body's job to do the whole work.

Sometimes, we have to drag ourselves to just do the things we think can make us happier.

Stop the feels and start doing something, anything that would solve the problem, and if clueless as to what is that, just do anything.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, February 19, 2014

3 Awesome Keys to Happiness and Confidence that Could Change Your Life Forever.

This morning I had to remind myself of life changing principles and ideas in life that I've had heard and learned before.  And it always feels good to feed in sensible life lessons to jumpstart my day.

Here are the gems, as I may call them, that I want to share with you all.

1. The keys to happiness are:
- Focus on what you can do and let of the things you can't do.
- Be surrounded with high quality people who bring support, love and have your best interest in mind
- Have something to look forward to.  This will keep you excited in life.

2.  The keys to confidence are:
- Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
- Give yourself the assurance and right positive talk to weather you down during rough times
- Keep a good perception.

Makes sense huh?

Happy Morning everyone! <3

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, January 30, 2014

What we Easily Miss out in Our Journey through Life.

I haven't really told anyone this, but this is something that just came to me whilst getting lost in Hongkong and it's about finding your way.

Of course, it always happens. 

                                

Getting lost and finding yourself back to where you started or to where you want to go. 

But more than that it is during the finding your way thing did I got the light bulb.  It is when you finally see a sign pointing you to a direction.  To the left or to the right, turning your way and moving forward, and you would notice that your anxiety would build up, as you move along that straight path, eager to find another sign that would point you to another direction.  And it's from point A to point B, do we spend most of our lives in.  I realized that despite the anxiety of not knowing or not being sure, we should learn to chill and appreciate the flowers and just enjoy the present moment that you're living.  Yes we've heard about this from many texts on books or on tv, but it's a different thing applying it. 

So this is something I need, and maybe all of you need to learn and apply.  To just chill, relax, and enjoy the ride while waiting for the next sign.

Just a friendly and a thoughtful reminder brought to you by Shy who loves to walk on foot. 

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, January 29, 2014

See Marikina Almost 2 years After the Flood

I was in Marikina a few days ago and while I was observing it keenly, I couldn't put myself to believe that this town was drowned by floodwater not too long ago.  Two years ago, a deadly typhoon started pouring in hard, drawing in floodwater as high as the rooftops.

To brush up on my memory, I revisited the photos, finding myself even awe-struck that such devastation happened to them.

 

Such resiliency indeed.

Images of Flooded Marikina Source: mabuhaycity

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Why It's OK to be Alone.

Source

Ok.  I admit it.  This is me trying to convince myself why.  Sometimes I would enumerate in my head these reasons but ended up sliding down to this cushion of sadness, and then snapping myself out of it again by remembering the list I've made just seconds ago, forgetting some points along the way.  And this goes on and on especially when I'm in places I haven't been to before or when I'm in a social event, like earlier there was a band playing right in front of Araneta Colliseum, so spectators including me crowd around them.  I happened to be standing at the back of 2 couples snuggling close to each other.  And you know how this situation feels. It was all the feels.  All the bad feels that is.

So here I am , low and bitter, trying to come up with a list - this time a written one - hoping in the end I could have a very good argument why it is OK to be alone.

- They say that successful people are masters of perception.  So instead of me branding my being solo as "alone" I should instead call it "adventurer" or "independent" or "empowered".

Not convinced: I'd surely be happier when with a company, and wouldn't trade a good conversation with a feeling of empowerment... whatever that means.

- When people have time to think negatively, they aren't doing what they're supposed to do.  A wake up call to get back to the essential which are pursuing dreams and fulfilling responsibilities for self an others.

Makes sense...

- Just because you don't have a partner who affirms your existence or who would remind you that you're loved, doesn't mean you're not loveable.  The lack of affirmation doesn't make you less of a person. If no one shows you that, it's a need for you to show it to yourself by loving yourself more.  Exercise, eat right, and again pursue your dreams.  You have a lot of things to do.  So get off the negaland and get back to your own.  Do your thing!

Spirits up! Up and awayyy!

So in conclusion, the pain of sadness could be a good determinant that you're not loving yourself enough. 

Focus on your time and energy on becoming a better and productive you and everything would be easier.

Publisher: Shy - Friday, January 24, 2014

Videoke Nights

Here's my friend Bopeep 

and here's me.

Both  are friends for more than 10 years now, and both were about to experience our 

FIRST BRIDAL SHOWER.

Here's how our conversation went before the Bridal Shower.

Me: Dili lang ko mujoin join anang kanta ha.  Dili baya ko singer. (Hey, don't let me sing, ok? I am no singer.)

Bopeep : Ako sad. Dili ko tig videoke. (Yep, same here.  I don't really sing and do videoke.)

During the Bridal Shower...

Guess who has the microphone, singing with all of her being?

And me?

I already sang Sex bomb, and rapped with my soul and innermost shaman to TLC's, Waterfalls, minutes before the video was taken.

I sang  like 80% of my life energy was transferred to the microphone.

No kidding.

And the weird stare from me in the vid?  

That was me after 3 bottles of strong beer... wink wink

Actually the others already had that and maybe drank more.  As you can see...

Yep, we're girls alright. ;)

Shoutouts to Donna, who made the peace out sign, Rain, who was as emotional in singing as Bopeep, and Katrina, then a bride-to-be, who was singing at the corner.

Publisher: Shy - Friday, November 29, 2013

What a Traveler Should Already Have Done 3 Days Before a Trip Abroad.

3 Days left before my major trip to HongKong! 

3 measley days!  

Am I ready? 

Yes I am!  

Ask me this 2 months ago and I would feel like puking, that just means that I had a lot of work to do.  But I'm done with all of the major work, and I feel confident that I've already ironed out the majority of things, without going crazy on the details and preparations. I feel like I got this.  I may not be able to know where to eat and what to eat, but if I have a daily budget in mind and a general route, I think I'm good to go.  Besides the trip isn't planned for me to follow everything to a tee, but it is for me to have fun, and that I make sure I will.

So 3 days left? Here are the things that you should have gotten out of your way already.

1. Book all the hotels and print the vouchers
2. Buy the tickets and have them printed too.
3. Have an itinerary and determine the route and landmarks you will be checking.
4. Figure out the things you can and you must do, same with places.  When you're already tired of walking, scratch off the not so important ones and move straight to the MUST.
5. Replay the script that you're going to say to the immigration officer and prepare to present all evidences required.  Replay it with a smile- the more charming, the better.
6. Secure the money needed for the trip and have extra for emergency.  Don't forget to bring credit cards or debit card and have the latter activated for international use.
7. Plan out your outfits for everyday, and don't forget the toiletries and meds, and make up and the sunscreen, and the blower... (ok, I'm a girl, I get carried away.)
8. Leave contact numbers of hotels and outline of your trip to your loved ones at home.  They would feel at ease to have them.
9. Travel Insurance, and secure visa if required.
10. Find out how a public toilet looks like.  You'll need it.
11. Know basic tourist phrases (for non-english speaking countries) and know how to pronounce them.
12. Read about what is good and bad ethics for that country.  Show some respect bro!

That's all I can think of right now.

If I missed on any, do let me know.  Your creative ideas are very much welcome! :)

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, November 28, 2013

3 Major Reasons Why 20-something Women Don't Get out of their way to Date Men.

My girlfriends and I are all single and yet even with our age almost lapsing the calendar, we refused to actively get in the dating scene.

Here are just a few reasons why.  It may or may not hit home with you.  But this is what's true for us.

1. We needed to take time to heal our hearts.  I know, I know, there should be a limit to all these heart-healing, we all have varying capabilities on that.  Some people are blessed to be ok the following day after a break up.  I think we just suck on that area.

2. We'd rather focus more on pursuing our dreams and be the person whom we would like ourselves to be.  It's easier to get lost once you're in a relationship and you haven't decided on your path in life.  So right before getting in one, decide and live your dream.  

3.  The knowing that 'he' will come in the right time.  They say that love strikes when you least expect it, so we needed to focus on something else because it would be the time that we would least expect for love striking us.  Do you get the flow here? wink wink

We refused to wait for our men to get to us, instead we prepare by becoming our truest selves and living the way we want to live.  When the guy sees your authenticity and what you stand for, and if and when he sees that you are a match to his true self,  then that's when the magic happens. 

So gals, don't wait, but prepare and live your dreams. He'll come knocking eventually. 

PS: I don't own any of these pics shown above.

Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, November 26, 2013

My 39 day "Clean up my Unfinished Business" Project.

Yesterday I got my bags.  I got them shipped in from Thailand in August and 3 months after, here they are.  Something that could be done in less than a week was finished in months.

Why?

Well there's complacency.  The feeling of having a lot of time in your hands.  It does screw up momentum.  But Iyanla Vanzant say,  as long as you keep on moving forward, you will not fail.  And I guess I'm doing just that, but ideally, I should be moving faster to welcome in more projects that I'm also eager to embark on.

This calls for urgency.  I should have accomplished many things in that span of time.  But I opted to set things aside.  And even though I've tried to plan things ahead, I failed to follow through with these plans.  I failed to check on my planner, which is just stacked up with a book I haven't read, or that Spanish book I failed to study.

It's a pile of unfinished businesses.


I often remind myself that whenever I feel sadness, my body is calling out for me to ACT.

So that's what I should do then.

I will therefore embark on a "clean up on my unfinished business" Project before this year ends.

Here are the list of them:
- Get into a habit on studying Spanish
- Finish reading my friend's book "When Mars and Venus collide."
- Finish reading "Food Medicine"
- Launching of the Secret Project I've been working on for months
- Loose 5 kilos. (this has been forever in my to-do list)

When I should start something, I should also know which to stop; taking the time for productive things from time on doing useless things.

Here are the list of items I should stop doing:
- Facebooking (aren't you all surprised.)
- Youtube-ing
- Staring at the ceiling
- Spying on our neighbors

Kidding aside, the last 2 are just fillers, because the first 2 are really the only deadly things I spend my time on mostly.

I've got 39 days to do these things, I trust I could achieve it since my plan is specific, manageable, achievable/attainable, relevant, and time-bound.

I hereby commence my 39 day 

"Clean up my Unfinished Business" Project!

funnyordie

Oh gif, I shall love thee forever. 

Love, 

Shy

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, November 21, 2013