"We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in. When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes."
I couldn't count the times that I've attempted to find my
purpose through travels and every
time I've come home to one, I would bring home the
usual: a few souvenirs, a number of really cool stories, and hundreds of pictures. And also as usual, I come home with no clear conviction of the purpose. The whole
trip although it was fun, didn't really give me the answer which I was seeking for in the first place.
Why?
Why it Failed.
During my first solo trip in HK, I filled my
itinerary with places to go, things to buy, activities to do, thinking that being in a different place would
highlight my own difference, seeing myself freshly and genuinely in the
light of other people. I believed that me being
genuine, comfortable in my own skin, and being different would help me understand myself more. I would see clearly the unique in me as seen by others, believing also that by knowing myself more and being
happy with it, my
purpose would somehow arise. All those were true though, except that
"my purpose" didn't pop up as I hoped it would.
No light bulbs happened.
And by being in different place made
stillness and
introspection for long hours of time seem impractical. I mean, there I was in
Baguio or HK, places I have never been to. Every time I steady myself and start to
meditate, there's a
nagging thought that yells at me saying that
"there's just so much to explore in this place, what the hell are you doing?" or the
"you spent all money and time for that? might as well do that in your own room." And dawning on the fact, I get
anxious and go back to my
places-to-go list.
So there, I learned it that way, but I must say that each
experience is different. My
soul searching just happened to
flop when traveling because really come to think of
it
the
answer really lies within us.
We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in. When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes.
Take Away
I learned that our aspirations and dreams are shadows of the needs and wants that we want in life. There are shallow needs, the ones that we really don't need but we have come to want for the ego. And there are deeper needs of love, belonging, fulfillment which we get by pursuing that of which our spirit truly desires. It's up for us to recognize where our dreams fall under, and to make sure that we always go for the ones that fall under the latter.
