What would I want to do with my life?
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From a lost person to another, I say this question with deep familiarity. How can it not be? I've been asking this question for 5 years now. For sure there should be some answer yeah?
I was mostly frustrated as any single woman in her late 20's can be. Although I have a job which I truly enjoy, it is but a passing thing - something I could do while figuring out what I want to do next. Looking back, I've always had an idea but no clear and specific direction. I've always known that I wanted to do business, and yet I found myself trudging this medical path. A path that was just suggested to me by my mother, in her attempt to give her daughter a sound direction - me a then clueless 21 year old fresh biology graduate. Eight years happened and nothing much really had change, I'm still sorting and figuring out. I find myself holding 2 degrees in science, both I'm quite feeling ho-hum about. Don't get me wrong. I love science, but that deep fire isn't always there, maybe it wasn't even there at all to push me to land jobs in line with it. Instead, I find myself working as a sales representative, English online teacher, and a business manager. In my desperate attempt to find the answer, I've turned myself to several self help books. That and watching heaps of inspirational videos of renowned motivators on Youtube. All of them saying exactly one thing: Follow your heart. Find your passion.
That leads me to question number 1:
1. How would I know what I want to do?
I feel that the answer is just inside us. And for one to gain access to that gem of an answer we need to calm down and be still.
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a. Meditate
Our head gets too crowded with many voices, with many influences, summoning emotions of fear and anxiety that only cloud our reasoning. Please take some time to not think. And once you feel grounded, try dreaming. Your heart would reveal to you your deepest desires. It may not be that specific, but it will give you hints of what holds true, may it be security, freedom, being able to do your passions and such.
b. Walk/Do something repetitive (household chores/mowing the lawn/gardening etc.)
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Ever wonder when you're still your head sometimes gets all wired up with anxieties. Well convert your pent up energy into motion, that would help steer clear of all that distracting emotions. Take notice on whatever thoughts came to mind. Observe your choices, write them down later and evaluate afterwards.
Steve Jobs, is a fan of finding one's passion. And it is clear that he preached about it in his commencement speech for the Stanford 05 graduates.
"You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle."
2. Choosing between what I need to do and what I want to do.
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Isn't that the hardest part? It's that 2 seemingly correct answers, that end up eating much of our time in multiple choice exams. Well same goes with life, although in tests, you are forced to choose fast so you can move on to the next question. Life seems to last so long that we always forego these hard questions for later. Next thing you know, 5 years had already passed by and still you haven't made a decision . Our decisions usually boils down to our priorities. Is it freedom or is it security?- which of course, is another hard question. My take on this is, if you're single and no one is depending on you for money, most likely you would pick freedom and trust yourself that you'll do your best to find ways to provide for yourself and your future. But if you might want security and you can't take risks, then chances are, the wisest decision might be to do what you need to. But again, to each his own. The decision usually is up to you.
Sometimes decisions go right down to living a life for yourself or living a life for others.
3. Making a Decision.
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People often make decisions based on what makes the most sense to them, if they feel at peace, if they feel happy about it. One marker that you're not truly at peace with your decision is that you haven't done anything about your plan for a long time. Not because you don't have the resources yet, but because you can't put yourself into action. There's no drive. No passion. You might want to go back to the old drawing board again and this time be honest to yourself and seize what you truly, truly want.
What's shocking is that being honest is sometimes really difficult to do. More often than not, our ego would seep in the process of decision making, diverting our path on impressing people as opposed to doing what we love. So we spend our time reaching high, and once at the top, we struggle. Sure we love the recognition, but we don't fully feel self actualized.
It's best to explore avenues that you love and you're interested in. You'll notice that you are seeing a pattern and a common denominator for everything that you're drawn into. Do a bit of research and get a feel of which specific career feels raw and right to you.
This will take time. Relax and enjoy the ride. Don't push yourself on coming up with an immediate answer. Don't dive in and swim your way to your destination, full of effort and always hot and bothered. Stay in the boat and paddle where you wish to go. Enjoy the scenery an learn in the process. Life is to be experienced with awe and wonder. The path to self discovery is not supposed to be a struggle. Chill out and embrace the unknown. Easier said than done, but at least try.
4. Draw out a plan.
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One thing that differentiates a dream to a goal is planning. Dreams just stay as thoughts swirling in the mind. Setting goals involves a decision to execute it. Once you've done that, congratulate yourself, this places your right foot into materializing it.
Now this step could get a bit tricky because sometimes we overwhelm ourselves with crazy and unrealistic expectations that involves planning things without minding the limited resources available. This part needs truthful evaluation of very specific goals and having those spread out in your calendar in a very organized and sensible way.
5. Just do it.
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If by now if your plan doesn't make you excited, then go back to step 3. There's something wrong with it. After all that soul searching, this should reflect what you desire, and what you desire should at least give you that spring of hope and fuel of fire to get things going.
So now, you might ask. Have I found my answer? After that 8 years? Well I like to believe that I have it, and it's the first plan I had that I found the most real to me. It may not necessarily be my final destination, but just a jumping pad. Whatever it is, I've already pointed my boat that way, and I am eager to paddle my way to it. I'm not too sure, but the thought of me paddling over there gives me joy. The thought of me being there gives me excitement. That alone makes it worth doing.
If all else fails just skip steps 1 to 4 and go straight to step 5. Most likely you already KNOW what to do. You are just afraid and hesitant to do it, patiently waiting for the right moment to arrive.
My friend, the right moment is always NOW.
Let's start this journey guys.
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